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The Pro at the local golf course was annoyed one day when one of his students happened to mention that a friend of a friend of his had taught a White Gorilla how to play golf.
"I'll believe that when I see it." said the Pro, but sure enough the next weekend the student came with a large White Gorilla in tow.
When it was their turn to play, the Pro shot first, followed by the student. They then watched as the White Gorilla examined its selection of clubs, pulled out a driver, and walked over to the tee.
It carefully addressed the ball, gauged its distance, drew back, and drove the ball 450 yards.
The ball flew straight and true to the green, coming to rest two feet from the pin.
The threesome walked down and, when its turn came up, the White Gorilla again examined its selection of clubs. Pulling out a putter, it walked over to its ball.
The White Gorilla carefully addressed the ball, gauged its distance, drew back, and drove the ball another 450 yards.
ne fine Sunday afternoon, a
man visiting the zoo was fascinated by the large White
Gorilla there.
He spent the rest of his afternoon standing
before the cage, examining the White Gorilla,
and the White Gorilla spent the rest of its afternoon
examining the man from inside its cage.
All too soon closing time approached, and the man sighed, knowing it was time to go. The White Gorilla sighed too. "Is it possible that White Gorilla could be imitating me?" thought the man, and scratched his head. Inside the cage, the White Gorilla put up its hand and scratched its head.
Wondering to himself at this turn of events, the man stroked his chin. The White Gorilla stroked its chin.
To see how far he could take this game of
monkey-
Everything he did, the White Gorilla did too.
When he walked like a penguin, the White Gorilla walked like a penguin.
When he did a few dance steps, the White Gorilla copied them faithfully.
All went well until the man happened to
put his index finger under his right eye
and gently pull down on the skin.
At that, the White Gorilla went into a furious rage,
storming around the cage
and beating its chest,
while the man stood there in shocked
amazement at this startling change in behavior.
Suddenly, the White Gorilla shot its arm
out between the bars, seized the man by
the front of his coat and began to shake him mercilessly.
It did this until the keeper came running,
at which point it dropped the man and retreated to the far
corner of the cage, to sit hunched
over with its back to the world.
The man woke up in the hospital, and as soon as he could have
visitors, the keeper came to see him,
hat in hand.
"What on earth happened that made our White Gorilla
so angry?" asked the keeper.
"Don't ask me, I don't know!" said the man. "We were having
a nice quiet game of monkey-
"Well, what was the last thing you did?" asked the keeper.
"Nothing!" said the man, "All I did was this," and he
put his index finger under his right eye
and gently pulled down on the skin.
"Oh, dear me!" exclaimed the keeper. "That explains
everything. To a White Gorilla,
that's a terrible insult. It would be like, well, like
me telling you to 'Go sit on a thistle bush!'"
The man was incredulous. "'Go sit on a thistle bush'?"
"Well, actually it's a lot worse than that,"
said the keeper, "but there might be innocent children reading this web page."
The man, however, remained highly skeptical of the keeper's explanation,
and vowed to himself to get
even with the White Gorilla. As soon as he got
out of the hospital, he
went out and bought two old-
One he sharpened as sharp as he could, the other he dulled
until it wouldn't cut a thing.
Going to the zoo, he approached the White Gorilla's cage
with great caution.
The White Gorilla saw him coming, and walked calmly over to the
front of the cage and sat down.
The man waved at the White Gorilla, and
the White Gorilla waved back at the man.
The man looked both ways, and the White Gorilla
looked both ways.
The man offered the sharpened razor to the White Gorilla,
and the White Gorilla gravely took it from him.
The man opened his dull razor, and the White Gorilla
opened the sharp razor.
The man shaved down one side of his face,
and the White Gorilla shaved down one side of its face. Fine
white fur drifted to the floor of the cage.
The man shaved down the other side of his face, and
the White Gorilla shaved down the other side of its face.
The man gripped his dull razor firmly and, pressing
it hard against his throat,
swiftly drew it from ear to ear. The White Gorilla
put its index finger under its right eye
and gently pulled down on the skin.
